Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Just Passing Through




I’m sitting at the observation deck at Jameson Brown Coffee Roasters—a seat with an overview of the whole place with no one behind me. Right now I don’t have to figure out how to be non-emotional as the current state and appearance are relatively neutral. So it is the sensation of being swept away that becomes curious whenever it presents itself. But that’s not what’s happening now. Now there is a hum of voices with occasional scratching of chairs against the cement floor like aberrations in the atmosphere. Something loud just ended, perhaps the coffee grinder stopped grinding and in an instant the humming of voices ceased. But only for a second. They resumed just as quick.
            I’m remembering sitting at my husband ex-boss’s house and writing my way into the moment while I waited for him. It occurred to me then, perhaps for the first time, that that’s the only kind of writing I wanted to do. Yesterday the same thing happened. Writing for the sake for writing as long as what was written was true to the moment. Blogging might be the most perfect medium to accomplish such a feat. Immediately publishable, shareable, and forever continuous. It accomplishes a task I love doing most frequently while at the same time sharing it with others without having to have a neatly wrapped up ending or a story line.
            I did it. I looked at my old blog sites. I believe one is about to expire and the other sounds like a yoga practice: Breathing Through It. The name sounded like a good idea at the time. I have no idea what I would call this imaginary blog. “My Imaginary Blog?"
BLOG = a website that contains online personal reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks, videos, and photographs provided by the writer; a regular feature appearing as part of an online publication that typically relates to a particular topic and consists of articles and personal commentary by one or more authors. (Compliments of Merriam-Webster.com)

Yes, I looked up the definition. Perhaps having a dictionary tell me what it is will help me see what it is I'm doing clearer. When I first heard of a blog, a decade ago, I recognized it. That’s it. That’s what I should do. It’s a perfect medium for someone like me. And I did it. I started one in 2010. All two of them. Without readership, it was no longer that interesting. Of course now with Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and whathaveyou, you can get a response from at least a person or two giving you the thumbs up or perhaps even a comment or two. Your friends are bound to validate your existence.

All right, back to breaking into the moment. A man with a curious mustache just walked by, you know the kind that curls on the sides like one of my exes has now. The man’s salt and pepper hair is cleanly brushed back. You know what’s also groovy about blogging is that I never have to have a topic or finish a story I had begun or provide any resolutions to questions. It’s an ongoing project that thrives on not ending. And it will always give me something to do—just write what you see, write what’s happening, write what you’re thinking, feeling, being, or passing through. Maybe it should be called “Just Passing Through?" I just asked my husband what he thought. And my sister. And an old writing buddy. And then I went on a rampage fixing the existing blog and renaming it, which blogspot lets you do without a hitch. It’ll kind of be my experimental blog, the one no one knows about that I can use as a template.

We’re all watching each other, feeding off each other.


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