Day 186

You work on something for a long time. It's regimented. Requires discipline. But then, an idea comes that takes you away from the discipline you've so carefully regimented. And you do it briskly and it comes out fresher and on the mark with little or no effort.

Here's the crux. If it wasn't for the long regimented hours put towards unseemingly useless project, the relevant one, the one that is meant to be born wouldn't. Or it might have anyway and at least you've kept yourself busy while unknowingly waiting for it.

We don't know why we do the things we do. We don't know why we're drawn to certain things and not certain other things. We just don't know. But doing these things without knowing the reasons behind it is a breath of fresh air.

I've been starting several books at the same time and not finishing them right away. Then, I got a job covering for the same teacher for four days in a row. Unknowingly, there was a book there that I needed to read. I saw it in her class before about a year ago and I lit up wanting to read it. But I wasn't ready for it, so I put it back. Going back to her class after all these months, I once more noticed that same book. The first day I covered for her, I didn't want to have anything to do with it. On the second day, I knew I had to read it. And I read it in less than 24 hours in midst of other books waiting to be finished. Why? Who knows. Why now? Who knows. What did I get out of it? A direction.

The Practice

Daily Meditation - 20 minutes
Skipped - 3x
Adyashanti Intensive

Reflection


To be in the unknown is such a relief. I don't have to worry about knowing things in advance or the reasons behind them. I'm more inclined now to do things as they come up. I have started writing this post  several days ago and I've been adding to it, almost one sentence at a time. I kept wanting to post it that same day, but something inside me said, "hold on. you're not done." "But I have to post," my mind would yell at me. "This blog went from daily posting to bi-weekly to weekly and now it's been over a week," my mind would reason. "So what!" I'd hear from the distance. "You're just enjoying yourself."