Day 2

I meditated while waiting for my gynecologist to show up, which shows that you can do it anywhere. Today also happened to be a good example of how helpful Life is when we live in breath-awareness rather than drama awareness.

Out in the waiting room, I sat next to two love-struck teenagers who kept wrestling each other and screeching with joy. I was reading a book and I continued reading it, glancing at them from time to time, but not labeling what I saw or how it made me feel. I just let it be. After a while, a smile formed on my lips, two minutes later, I was called inside.

Inside the office, I was told to undress and to continue waiting. I did just that and once again placed my attention on my breathing and body awareness. The doctor came in some half an hour later and said that I did not need to undress because they no longer do pap smears (I have to get technical) every year, but every other year. I said, "Oh, then I guess just the birth control." She then tells me that she will write me a prescription for a year so that I didn't have to come back every four months. This is no small thing coming from a doctor from Planned Parenthood where the waits are three to four hours at a time. I thank her graciously and leave within only one in a half-hours of time spent.

The Practice

Morning Yoga at the park.
Meditation at home with no alarm clock. I sat for 40 minutes.
I bought my very first meditation bench at the Bodhi Tree. :)

Reflection

Thoughts of "what am I doing?" or "I should be doing something more productive" arose from time to time. Again, the mid-day hours are my most worrisome. That's why they have siesta in Spain. Here, my siesta is meditation. I don't even try to "get things done" during those hours because the only thing I accomplish is anxiety. Breath-awareness is becoming key in those hours. There is nothing else to do - really. Escape no longer works for me, so it's staying with it or going crazy.

I find that not escaping the discomfort of what I'm feeling, you know that "something is not right" feeling, eases the discomfort. When I'm really there with it, there's nothing wrong, everything makes perfect sense. These disturbances really do come and go when I don't run away from them.

Coming back to the breath...