Day 6

Lesson of the day: We are in service of this moment. When we service this moment, this moment serves us.

I didn't have any concrete plans for today. As I'm still on my summer break from substitute teaching, I get to live each day as it comes if I choose. That's still the case when I work, but even more so. The reason I say "choose" is because the mind tends to go haywire when I don't have something planned. I decided to see what happens without a plan in mind.

At first, I felt bored and very uncomfortable. My mind kept repeating, "I should be doing something." I didn't listen, instead I paced the room while observing my emotions, as well as my mind. Within minutes, the feelings of guilt, boredom, and discomfort disappeared and the doing happened by itself. I went to the kitchen, I made myself lunch, I ate it, then I felt inspired to take out a story I'm working on, go to the bookstore, and read it. There was none of that "should I? or shouldn't I?" I just did. In fact, I didn't. The doing happened on its own.

The Practice

Morning yoga at the park
Afternoon 20 minute unstructured meditation
Evening Zazen for two sits and a walk

Reflection

I was spacing out a lot today during the evening meditation. My mind either projected or spaced out. Projection is future story-telling: I see myself here or there or doing this or talking with that person. If it's a nice story, then it feels good and satisfying, if it's one of the worst case scenarios, then it leads to anxiety. Ultimately, all stories lead to anxiety. Hence, I kept coming back to the breath and the present moment.

My left shoulder began to hurt as well. In reality, I'm not sure if it really hurt or if it was my mind telling me it did. Because whenever I placed my attention on it, it did not hurt, but as soon as my attention shifted, I felt it again. I feel relaxed now though.