Day 5

To recover from the weekend's festivities, I spent the entire day at home in unstructured meditation. I started by watching my cat Mia watching two birds. I think I sat and watched her for half an hour before she decided to call it quits. When she saw me looking at her, she ran straight to me with her eyes locked to mine. For a split moment, my cat and I were one consciousness. We always are. It's just I'm not always aware of it.

The Practice

Through the duration of the day, I sat five times for about 20 to 30 minutes.
I switched between counting breaths and just breathing. Counting helps when the mind is busy.
Morning yoga for 40 minutes
Stretching through out the day

Reflection

I didn't find it very difficult to sit for as long as I did. The same thoughts that arise during any other activity arose during sitting. It doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing because our self-made stories are more loyal to our minds than dogs to their owners. However, with continuing observation of these stories, I find that they diminish considerably.

On my last sit, I felt exhausted, but just as I was about to collapse forward consciousness was once again looking through my eyes. It always does, but I saw it. I was experiencing myself as me, but not as me, Marina, but as consciousness itself experiencing my particular form.

I ask myself, do I need to put myself through five sittings in order to experience one glimpse of total conscious awareness? No. There is never a need to do anything. I wanted to surrender to the sitting practice and so I did. Do I have to do that? No. It doesn't matter. There are things that we do and there are things that we don't do. One is not any more right or wrong than the other. All consciousness wants is to know itself.