I found myself feeling guilty for having such an awesomely flexible and entertaining job that of a substitute teacher. "I should be working harder" my mind wanted me to believe. "But I don't like working harder," the other part of me counter-argued. I asked myself which part gave me more stress and it was the "I should be working harder" part.
I realized that we do everything we can in order to make it harder on ourselves rather than easier. We feel guilty for not doing enough, but when we do enough, it becomes too much. We run around looking for that happy medium when we're already living it. It already is how we've always wanted. But that's too simple. Who would we be if we did not look for the perfect job, the perfect place to live, the perfect mate, and the perfect life? When I ask myself that question, the answer is always... I'd be happy!
Where does guilt fit into all this? It's the mind looking for a problem where there is none.
The Practice
Monday Morning - 15 minute meditation
Tuesday Morning - 15 minute meditation
Tuesday Evening - Cardio and a pigeon
Reflection
Speaking of guilt, I caught myself feeling guilty during meditation for being the light onto myself. If I'm the light onto myself, then I don't need anyone to make me happy. In its truest meaning, it's liberation. But the old school mindset wants to believe that I need someone to be happy. Why don't I just toss the old school mindset and live in liberation? Old habits die hard is coming to mind until they no longer come to mind, I suppose. Although, it's clearer to see that it's a habit.
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