Day 89

Thoughts of going back to school are visiting me once more. I drove myself crazy this past summer trying to decide whether I should get my psychology license. What about the writing? What about the tuition? What about this? What about that? So, I stopped. I did not do anything and listened for directions. The directions led me back here, to stay put, to be patient, to go with the natural flow of things, and so I did. The thoughts stopped and going back to school no longer called me forth. And now, I'm being pulled once more, but this time I'm not listening with my head. Ironically, the head does not solve anything. My heart is writing. My heart is looking where it wants. My heart is feeling things out without acting prematurely. It's a relief, really.

Adyashanti writes, "The only thing that will move you is the same thing that moves a leaf hanging from a tree. It's simply because the breeze blows that way. So you always know what to do: The breeze blows that way, and that's the way you go. You don't ask questions anymore. You don't evaluate why the breeze is blowing that way because you know that you don't know why. And you know you can't know why."

Which way is the breeze blowing right now?

The Practice

Monday Morning - 20 minute meditation
Monday Afternoon - Yoga

Reflection

I don't plan as much anymore. I used to plan out my day by the hour and write everything down so that I don't forget. I find that I do forget, but the moment I need to remember to do something, I remember. There's more trust in myself. I don't spin the same records nearly as much anymore. I trust that whatever it is I want resolved, it is done. There's also more of a knowing that there's no state of resolution as Peter Brown pointed out. There's just the play of things. You stay focused while you're playing and then you let it go when you're done. And when it's time to play with something else, then you move on to that without the nostalgia for the old thing. But if there's nostalgia, you go back to it, but it's no longer old, but new all over again.

The brunch bell just rang at Wilson High. Let's see what two options I have to choose from today.