In relationships, to hear the truth is a hard pill to swallow. But once the pill is swallowed, you realize that it was no more than a placebo. Hidden behind the shadow of pain is a revelation that all of our needs are a child's cry for attention. "What a treat! I'm not always wanted and I don't always want and I don't have to pretend like I am or that I do. I don't have to manipulate the situation to fit the child's needs only to hear that there's no Santa Clause anyway." There's nothing wrong with crying for it or believing in the unbelievable, as long as we know that it's the child in us, not the adult. To hear the beauty of truth is freedom from clinginess, resentment, and the inevitable misunderstanding.
To realize these needs is to be free of them. To hide from them is to be trapped. I asked for truth and truth reveals itself in many forms and not in ways that I expect. Surprisingly, the things that I never wanted to experience or feel again are blessings in disguise. They show up for us. Like a child, they say, "I'm only misbehaving so you would look at me."
The Practice
Daily meditation - 30 minutes
Saturday - Satsang with Peter Brown
Reflection
I'm realizing that it's the unacknowledged parts of ourselves that we need to see and it's these parts that keep showing up in different forms. If we're willing to experience what we don't want, whether it shows up or not no longer has the power to take us under. "We're as sick as our secrets," one of GangaJi's students once said. We can only be unhappy about the stuff that we don't see as much a part of who we are as everything else. To hear that is scary, but to truly live it is liberating.
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