DAY 118

Life is an improv show, nothing ever happened, we're just making up as we go along. The show arises out of nowhere and it ends at its own accord.

The Practice

Monday Evening - Live meditation with Eckhart Tolle
Tuesday Evening - 30 minute meditation
Wednesday Morning - Self-inquiry with Ganga Ji

Reflection

I listen to the sound of the water as I wash my hair. Random thoughts arise about my old friendships, my financial situation, my current relationships, and what I need to do once I get out of the shower. I place my attention on the sound of the water once more. None of the thoughts I just had have any practical value. New thoughts come in as if these are more important and should be taken slightly more seriously. Nope. They too don't hold water. I only hear the sound of the water.

I tell myself, "What if I didn't place any weight on any thought that arises while I'm taking a shower, washing my hair, and shaving my legs?" Just as an experiment, I listen to all thoughts as if they're foreign to me and I don't believe a word of what they say. There's quiet. I don't hear a thought. Then, a thought comes in and asks, "I must be doing this right because I don't hear anything." I acknowledge that that too was a thought.

I come out of the shower at first feeling invigorated and then separate and incomplete in my body. My thoughts go, "I guess that didn't go too well." But what is that feeling?  "I should've bought the holiday gifts by now," my mind explains. Something is missing, it must be the gifts. Something is missing, it must be lack of money. Something is missing, it must be because I didn't finish writing my novella. Something is missing, it must be my relationships.

Am I really incomplete? The moment I ask that question, I'm complete again. How's that possible when I don't have any of the above reasons resolved? It has nothing to do with any of that. It never did. It never will. Willingness to go there is worth a thousand thoughts. "Willingness goes beyond will." - Ganga Ji