Day 43

I'm back to day-to-day subbing and I love it. We sure do get exactly what we want. Sometimes it takes doing the opposite in order to see what's right here already.

I'm writing things and erasing them. Nothing seems to be sticking. I could talk about this that happened or that, but I don't feel the need. The one thing that does come up is talking to the sub yesterday at the office. He asked me if I was having a hard time getting jobs and I said no. He said, "you must be the super sub." I answered, "must be." But really, I'm not doing anything to get these jobs. I got a called yesterday from another school asking me to sub on Monday for a class that I enjoy going to. 

I've noticed that when I try to make something happen, it's usually an uphill battle, which doesn't necessarily produce results, but when I literally sit back and relax, then things just to tend to come. 

The Practice

Morning meditation - 10 minutes

Evening Zazen - 30 minutes

Personal practice talk with Dharma Joy at ZCLA - 1 hour

Reflection

I've been blogging every other day, but I'm still sitting every day. During my conference period yesterday, I sat staring at the door knob for several minutes. It's amazing to notice when looking at something long enough how fluid everything is. There's nothing you can look at out there that's solid. Absolutely everything is constantly moving and changing. How can we ever attach to any one thing or thought when they're nothing, but ever-moving particles of dust?