It was a rainy, dreary afternoon at my great aunt's memorial service and I'm not talking about the weather. My immediate and extended family gathered around the tombstone praying and hoping that no other such tragedy would strike again. I wondered how they could possibly believe that to be true standing there amidst the sea of graves. Even being inside the obviousness of it all, somehow we still convince ourselves that reality of life is not real and if we continue to resist the inevitable a little bit longer than maybe we'll be spared.
The mind does sure know how to keep itself holding on to illusion, but I find that with every losing battle, the concepts of who we think we are slowly, but surely start to dissolve. And suddenly the only real death becomes the death of the concepts because reality itself does not go anywhere.
Meditation
The morning sit - 35 minutes
Reflection
I don't have to figure anything out. It's such a relief to really know that. I don't have to do anything about anything. I used to be so afraid that if I don't think about all the options of a given situation that it won't resolve itself, but it's quite the opposite. I'm more stuck in a situation when I continue thinking about it.
The other day I was about to go on another "fix-it" trip and then I said to myself and not I, Marina, but the one who observes everything, "I don't have to think about this" and as if someone turned on the light switch, I smiled to myself.
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