I was sitting at a coffee shop yesterday and words might not do it justice, but I spread my awareness to include everything and everyone in my field of vision. I didn't label anything, I didn't create stories around anything, I didn't zone in on any one thing in particular. I just watched. Within seconds of watching, I saw reality as it really is before thought. It's quiet. And the thoughts are always one second behind reality. I could feel my thoughts trying to pull me back in. It's a very needy pull. Getting pulled into them and most importantly getting stuck in them is what causes the suffering and discomfort. I stayed with my breath. I kept some of that spacious awareness or rather it stayed within me while I proceeded to do things.
The Practice
Morning meditation - 30 minutes
Reflection
For the past two meditations, I sat in a Burmese position with both of my legs in front of me, not on top of each other. Both times my legs fell asleep and I had to take a minute to bring them back to life before standing up. Needless to say, I don't enjoy that position, at least not yet. Using the meditation bench has been by far the best method for sitting.
The easier the sitting becomes, the more alert I have to be of the mind. When I first started sitting, it was all about the physicality of the body and that's where the focus was. Now, staying with the breath and observing arising thoughts is becoming of crucial importance. Because what ends up happening is that once the body is comfortable, the mind relaxes and I tend to go to fantasy land. It's harder to be alert of excessive thinking when the fantasies are pleasant; nonetheless, they are still fantasies. And where there is a fantasy, there's a nightmare waiting just around the corner.
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