Day 34

Yesterday in school, I had such resistance to being there for the first part of the day. I wanted to walk out and never look back. And then, as if by magic, I stopped focusing on not wanting to be there. I just stopped focusing. I'm not sure if I simply accepted the resistance for what it is or allowed the stillness to take over my mind instead of my mind taking over the stillness, but something lifted.

Then, I realized that I'm not teaching to make a living. I'm not doing anything to make a living. Anything that I do, I do to know myself. I come to work to know my joys, my pains, my irritations, my limits, etcetera. It doesn't meant that I will stay in the same situation all of my life, but while I'm there, I'm there to know myself. While I'm anywhere, I'm anywhere to know myself.

At the end of school, one of the administrators told me that they're removing one of my classes because there are not enough kids in that class. It also happens to be the class that I had to do the most preparation for.

The Practice

6:00 AM sitting meditation - 10 minutes
Walk - 20 minutes
Listening to Adyashanti in presence - 20 minutes

Reflection

I'm including listening to awakened teachers into my meditation practice. Everything is included in the meditation practice. I do it in the car. I do it in the park. I do it at work. I do it with my parents. I do it while I walk. And there's also something about being in front of a teacher either at a Satsang, Dharma talk, or even listening to one on You Tube that settles the mind and deepens the soul.